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Comment · Fri, September 4, 2015 · Ceretropic & Nootropics Depot

One is the deadliest number: the detrimental effects of social isolation on cerebrovascular diseases and cognition (2015)

What they were answering

dingbat21 · 1 points

i agree a whole lot with what you're describing there, and there is definitely no denying that a link often exists between self-esteem / projection / bullying etc. all the varying defense mechanisms that manifest by attacking others.

my main point which may have been inarticulated is that there is no need to come up with a reassuring reason that the "other" is critical / judging / bullying / aggressive. meaning: whether or not it is true that the critic has poor self-esteem or are projecting, or whatever their motivations as a whole, would be irrelevant when a person has truly developed immunity to caring. engaging in that story-telling is a distraction from being totally focused on one's own self-interest.

edit: should note that im unfamiliar with the study you're referring to. comments are just based on observation of people and the sometimes obvious. but anyway yes projection is very real, so it shouldnt be surprising that people with low self-esteem who feel victimized and bullied could be inclined to project that low self-esteem, valid or not, to the one who they perceive as victimizing them.

u/MisterYouAreSoDumb · Ceretropic & Nootropics Depot

True. When you get to the point of not letting what other people think affect you, the reasoning behind why they think/act the way they do is irrelevant to your progress. However, it is not irrelevant to the situation as a whole.

Many times I have approached people that seemed to have an issue with me, and sat down to talk to them. Realizing where some of their disapproval was coming from not only helped us to get past it, but also helped me to see how I was coming across to certain people. So we were able to correct the misunderstanding, or issue they had, and I was able to grow as a person in the process. Sure I did not let their disapproval get to me, and I could have just gone about my day eating bees and killing cobras. However, attempting to recognize the difference between a misunderstanding, and a projection of internal insecurity, helped me to improve myself. I don't let it affect my feelings, but I should be willing to accept there might be a valid reason they are judging me.

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