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Found this at my doctors office...
Replying to Hyperman360 · This sounds almost like AIDS.
Haha, tested for that. No AIDS...yet.
Found this at my doctors office...
Replying to GiskardReventlov · >Ever since I almost died in an Indian hospital Sounds like something the patient would reveal in the last five minutes of an episode of House, M.D. right before House berates his…
One of my students actually saved my life. I was supposed to teach that day, but I was too sick and called in. Knowing that I was an American, one of them came to my hotel to make sure I was ok. When he got there he took one look at me and said we needed to go to the hospital. Go…
Found this at my doctors office...
Replying to thejackieee · Usually after a cold or flu, unless you're immunocompromised in some fashion, you don't have a secondary bacterial infection.
I get one every time like clockwork. My immunologist cannot figure it out. Ever since I almost died in an Indian hospital, my immune system is shit. However, all the countless blood tests they have done have shown that I am perfectly healthy. I am on azithromycin right now, actua…
My mom found this on her windshield
Replying to AMA_About_You · It honestly is a skill that can be learned. I don't know why it's so taboo to go find a fucking parking lot and practice. None of this "I've already got my license, I can do it j…
I could just see this mom going out and drifting in the rain to practice. "Look sweetie, I mastered heal-and-toe shifting! Now jump in the Supra, we're getting some ice cream."
New job required a photo of myself in a suit for their website. I don't own a suit.
Replying to Nubana · Damn why did this get me. Whats up with those high contrast wolf shirts with a black background? Are they a thing? Now I kinda want one...
[May I suggest this one?](http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/71sk8HD7M9L._SL1324_.jpg) [Or this](http://tshirtvortex.net/wp-content/uploads/threeslothmoon.jpg)
i officially have lost all hope in my hospital's computer system...
Replying to akatherder · It is the enterprise-iest software ever. It's supposed to manage all your "internal" shit. HR, accounting, travel, regulations, sales, tracking development. It's a beast. Not t…
I just wrote some SAP exams for one of the largest companies in the world, and I'm not even sure if I "know" SAP. Haha
Mars Rover = $800m, Team to Operate = $1b. Drawing a penis on the surface of another planet = Priceless.
Replying to mallcop114 · FYI I am stealing this.
Since it was just my adaptation of a South Park episode, I'd say it's fair use.
Mars Rover = $800m, Team to Operate = $1b. Drawing a penis on the surface of another planet = Priceless.
Replying to okiiyama · This isn't just an achievement for America, its an achievement for all human kind.
And the Mars rover team now outlines the shape of a penis on the surface of the red planet, signifying their dominance...as is of course tradition for the NASA family. What a great day for America, and therefore, the world.
My friend's 2013 Nutrition graduating class photo. He's the dude on the right.
Replying to GoodGuyGoodGuy · I feel like you've collectively pulled me out of the matrix and i desperately want to go back to not knowing the truth :( Should of told you to shove that red pill straight up you…
You know, I know this steak doesn’t exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realize? Ignorance is bliss.
My friend's 2013 Nutrition graduating class photo. He's the dude on the right.
Replying to hpeirce · A.K.A. Bridesmaid Paradox, Sorority Girl Syndrome, and Spice Girls Conspiracy
Also known as the buffet effect. "Look at all this good food!" When if you were to be brought any one of the dishes as a main course you would be disappointed.
350$ for 12 course dinner this is the first entree
Replying to untag_me · Wait, is this a real thing?
Yes sir. It's an unmarked pizza place in the Cosmopolitan in Vegas. I've never fully digested their pizza, but it tasted good.
350$ for 12 course dinner this is the first entree
Replying to [deleted] · Go to the third floor of the Cosmopolitan. As soon as you get off the escalators look straight ahead and slightly to the left. You will see an unmarked dimly lit hallway. Enter …
Secret pizza. I threw their pizza up in the lavish bathrooms, due to half a bottle of maker's mark. Best pizza I've ever thrown up in Vegas!
Skrillex faces.
Replying to dontsweattt · Credit : http://www.reddit.com/r/whitepeoplegifs/comments/1a25r0/bitches_be_crazy_xpost_from_rgifs/
It was actually posted to /r/Drugs last week, and we all were hoping that it would not get to a default subreddit. Now those chicks are top of the front page in an embarrassing video... Who knows if they know this footage even exists.
Check out my gun
Replying to EPIC_RAPTOR · Yep that's why when you get pulled over with a disassembled firearm you get charged with having 8 weapons.
Nine if you are wearing a long-sleeve shirt and you don't have a CCW permit. Got to make sure your guns are in plain view!
Check out my gun
Replying to SunMoonTruth · Your overly dramatic and emotional response helps who exactly?
The only emotion in my response is sarcasm. It helps those of us that needed a laugh. Nobody is advocating point guns at their faces. We are just poking fun at the people shouting about guns always being loaded. Obviously a gun is not always loaded.
Check out my gun
Replying to dszordan · I don't even look at bullets anymore. You just never know.
That's actually one thing I do adhere to. That's the thing that will actually be a problem. No bullets, no boom.
Check out my gun
Replying to YourPostsAreBad · HOLY SHIT!!! that's like having 4 loaded guns in your house. You must be from Texas.
Don't even point the empty magazine at anyone. It's fucking loaded! Don't even *think* about looking at the firing pin!
Check out my gun
Replying to YourPostsAreBad · because you ALWAYS treat a firearm as if it were loaded, even if it is disassembled and being cleaned. that motherfucker is ALWAYS LOADED!!!!
Even if the slide is in the bedroom, the barrel is in the kitchen, body is in the foyer, and the mag is in the closet, IT'S LOADED! Everyone knows that rule!
Found this Reddit account logged in, so here is one of my favorite cartoons
Replying to iridescentcosmicslop · [It's an anime thing](http://images2.fanpop.com/image/answers/335000/335060_1263562700366.27res_423_300.jpg) that spread outwards from the nerdy girls.
Ahh, I see. So Disney Channel XD not having anime is fairly ironic then.
Found this Reddit account logged in, so here is one of my favorite cartoons
Replying to imforserial · The term lmao is the worst word in the teenage girl language
Personally I find XD to be the absolute worst. What the fuck is it, a cyclops with no nose with his mouth open like an idiot?
Wanna dance?
Replying to pseudolobster · These are widely considered the best puns on reddit: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cfbkx/im_85_certain_that_there_is_an_adult_actress_in/c0s6bzw?context=3 http://…
Which is also a repost from 2002 (the Descartes one). 12th from the top. http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/archive/index.php/t-105629.html
That's it. I'm done. Get me off of this planet.
Replying to LeftyGunNut · I was in a small fishing village in Italy (cinque terre) last week and some of the souvenirshops had "me gusta" and "problem?" (adorned with their respective rage faces) t-shirts f…
A couple months ago, I saw a rage face shirt in Al Halili market in Cairo Egypt. Yesterday I saw a troll face backpack outside the Grand Bazaar in Instanbul Turkey. It's everywhere now...
That's it. I'm done. Get me off of this planet.
Replying to [deleted] · Hipster white guy sees hipster white guy wearing Reddit paraphernalia = "omg bacon narwhal my brother let me draw you deadpool and let's be bffs" Hipster white guy sees tumblr pho…
It's ok, you can say black man.
Tom Cruise buys a fridge...
Replying to EternallyXIII · You do realize this is going to turn into something big...and in Tom's case maybe litigious. You're essentially using his image for advertising without his consent and without comp…
Yes, because now I am going to fly to Rochester from Phoenix to get an appliance, since Tom Cruise like the smell of their merchandise... The good PR is not going to turn into any measurable profit. However, a lawsuit would suck.
GF thought it would be smart to let a stray cat inside....
Replying to Horong · I treat children the same way. If a kid wants to come into my van, I take them. if he wants to stay with me because I buy him better toys and cook him better food, that's on him.
Exactly! You don't want little Timmy getting taken, tattoo his ear like a good parent!